Wit, Writ, & Reality

Old Poem

2010-02-06T12:28:00.002-06:00

Here's a poem from early on in our relationship when I was trying to find my emotional self again.

Let me sit with scrolls of memories
Locked up tight for fear I might find
The scars hidden of past injuries
Perfectly scripted in pages of my mind
I've hidden you my beautiful thorn
That your piercing thought may not malign
Nor contest this blessed love that is born
Of such tender pains and joys of mine
For this love is too great to risk to me
So your sacrifice seemed so small to compare
But now my love demands to see
That sacrificed thorn laid bare
You were my heart, my deepest song
The basso continuo of my desires
The sweet theme playing all along
Whose vibrance lit a thousand fires
Whose gamine gallavants bore me away
Whose romance unparalleled beat
With such a tide that would o'er me sway
That I often could not steady my feet
But from such a height I fell
By a hardened soul's silent disdain
With my deepest heart rejected as well
The lovespring turned to winter rain
So I would hide my heart and me alone inside
With many a smile to barricade the door
Till I forgot where it was I would hide
And I could find my heart no more
That heart, that beating, which madness brought
Which sorrow and bitterness gave
I could no longer bear to burden my thoughts
Nor for its sentimentality slave
So flesh and mind alone I became
Bereft of emotion's uncontrollable beauty
A shell of a man with but a hint of flame
Resigned to do no more than duty
Resigned to be a tin man till death
With no heart to be found
With only the memories of loving breaths
And a loving heartbeat's sound
But now my princess has come for me
Her knight in tarnished armor to save
From this tower of solitude and misery
Where my heart lies near its grave
Please oh God give me the way
The path to where my heart lies
I want to cry just to feel today
I want more than two unfeeling eyes
I want passion to overwhelm
To resurrect that romantic theme
For my heart to again take the helm
And steer this ship to a less stormy dream
To speak with more than pitiful words
But with all I am to express
This love that from my lips I have heard
In touches and looks of tenderness
That my most precious and faithful friend
Might know the depth of what I feel
These desires to all in emotion be spent
That she may know that this love is real

Aspiring Doctors, Why no one sees them.

2009-06-02T09:11:00.002-05:00

It is nearly a full year since I have written a single letter on this blog site and I am happy to say that I am finished with my first year of medical school!
I would love to talk in deep theological manner about the hundreds of metaphors one can draw from the overload of complexity that is the human body as I have been forced to learn its every nook and cranny, but really the maturing has been much more subtle. It has been through the constant beckoning to sacrifice of precious time to that which is more enduring than my own self-interests. (Not that I haven't endulged my own self-interests most of the time, my computer and wii game log times can tell you that)
The times that I have been able to be an example for the Lord, the times I am unselfish for my lovely wife, in those times I am, as Paul says, "putting away childish things," and becoming more of a man.

Psalm 1 and Secular Counseling

2008-06-06T11:59:00.002-05:00

Psalm 1:1 "How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked..."

As I meditated on this one phrase of the first psalm, I tried to put into other words what I was reading. I thought to myself, "who are the wicked?" and "what does it mean to walk in their counsel?" I believe that the Lord led me to an interesting thought; when a Christian relies on secular counsel or advice rather than on wisdom from God, the Bible and the fellow Christians God has given him, he will fall out of the blessing of Father God. Why is it that good parents are so concerned about children's friends and how they are influencing them? For the same reason God told the Israelites not to associate with the nations around them. Romans 8:6-8 says "For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God." And again: 1 Cor. 15:33 "Do not be deceived, 'bad company corrupts good morals. '" How can we apply this to our Christian life?

In my opinion, over the past decade this country has witnessed an incredible increase in the belief of the common man that psychiatry and psychology is common-place and even necessary for a stable life. (With the break-neck speed that our country moves at, I'm not surprised that a niche forms that forces people to take time to think about their problems that they would otherwise have had time to think of on their own if they had any time to themselves) I in no way purpose to undermine the entire profession as being unnecessary or immoral, however, as christians, we must look at our involvement with such a profession in light of scripture.

Where is the line we must ask ourselves? When do we begin "walking in the counsel of the wicked?" When we take problems that overwhelm us to the secular world instead of to our Father and to His church that He has created to support us, we have absolutely aligned our lives with the counsel of the wicked. Only our Father God can see past the here and now, the physical complexities and the seemingly insurmountable problems that we face. How can we even begin to believe that someone completely unendowed with any spiritual wisdom or holy truth or prophetic gift could untangle the web that is within our sin-strangled hearts? If you need a counselor, seek a Christian! Seek those in the counseling profession that align themselves with the word of God and feel His call to help those who struggle with mental anxieties! Or, seek out your pastor, a brother you respect, or anyone who walks in a manner worthy of his call!

Consider as one final exhortation 1 Cor. 6:1-4 "Does any one of you, when he has a case against his neighbor, dare to go to law before the unrighteous and not before the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? If the world is judged by you are you not competent to constitute the smallest law courts? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more matters of this life? So if you have law courts dealing with matters of this life, do you appoint them as judges who are of no account in the church?" Even though this scripture deals with law disputes between christians, the heart of it stands as an exhortation to realize that there is no power for reconciliation of problems in this world apart from Christ and therefore, no secular force can do any good at all for a christian because they are incapable of pleasing Father God.

I realize this is radical, but christianity is a radical religion, not in violence, not in exclusivity of membership, but exclusivity of an absolute truth. It beckons all to come, yet its beckoning is inescapably to a life separate from the "life" lived before; the patterns of behavior, the beliefs, that in which we trust. And should we place our trust in the counsel of those who have rejected our Lord, we have chosen our master for enslavement and have thrown our lot in with those that spurned Christ on the cross. We are in effect, by our lack of trust in His saving power and His church, echoing those ancient Pharisees who said "He saved others, He cannot save himself!"

Purpose; Quest or Question

2008-04-02T11:00:00.006-05:00

There are many times in life where a person is faced with a seemingly insurmountable feeling of a lack of purpose. It is a feeling of utter displacement from all that is around you and a restless drifting in your soul. What we often react with is an attempt to return to some identity that we believe will give us meaning. Sadly, no identity that can be created by reactions to external stimuli can give us inner peace or solitude. Many of these identities can have attached to them socially acceptable, yet personally damaging activities. These activities can have the attractive side-effect of making us forget our lack of purpose. They grant us no purpose in and of themselves, they simply let us lose ourselves for a short time in some frame of mind where we can forget our hunger for a true meaning to our existence.

This is where addiction begins. In the smallest fringes of identities created to ingratiate quick friends and passing acquaintances. The more we don the mask of our many identities, the more we lose ourselves. The more we lose ourselves, the harder it becomes to find a single thread of purpose winding through our countless counterfeit selves. So then, those fringe activities of our many identities began to take over all of our attention. The identities that we associated with the "good" portion of ourselves; those that welcomed church people, that attended service events, that tried to make a better place out of this world, become lost in our need to forget the ever-looming certainty of our lack of purpose.

Ultimately depression sets in. We know what good is and we know that we are losing it and there is no way, by our own strength, to make ourself become good. Our mind is our prosecutor crying "too much, too often, too many mistakes!" and we slip into a downward cycle of drowning it out by whatever means presents itself.

Especially for those who have moral religious backgrounds, this downward slope can be an easy temptation. We grow too accustomed to feeling unworthy of God's love and we feel that when we mess up we are no longer useful for His work. We start to believe that there is some finite period of time that we have to be "good" before we can do anything useful for God.
We must realize that the only place where we can find purpose is in one identity, that of Christ. We were created to worship God and enjoy His loving presence. Not as perfect sinless people by our own strength (1 Cor. 1:26-31) But as humble, grateful bondservants in His kingdom. By our own doing we cannot attain to anything good; for all good comes down from the Father above. So we must submit ourselves to His loving will in our lives.

We must continue to focus, not on our mistakes, but on His precious sacrifice that released grace and mercy so abundantly over our undeserving hearts that we can do nothing to overcome the sweet gift of eternal life He has gently offered. A bondservant, in biblical reference, was a Jewish man who could not pay his debts and so offered himself to willing servanthood in the house of a Jewish brother who could pay him. After he had fulfilled his debt and he was offered his release, a true bondservant was a man who had so grown to love his master that he chose to stay in service for the rest of his life. We all have sinned and so, knowingly or otherwise, we have fallen upon the mercy of a gracious Father God, while in His created world, to spare us our due judgement and let us continue to live and be blessed.

We must understand that, righteous or unrighteous, ALL good things come from God and so all blessings are given to people by God. Since the death of Jesus, our debt of sin has now been paid forevermore. We now have only to accept his offer to live with Him and serve Him for eternity. How can we not turn to such a master who offers us each breath and eternal life in His house and say "though you have paid my debt, yet because of your great love for me, I long to serve you with all that I have and with every breath you give me." Since this was the reason we were created, the identity of a bondservant, as Christ exemplified, is the only way to find purpose, freedom and true life.

In light of His sacrifice

2008-03-24T10:39:00.006-05:00

How fixed these eyes have become
on my flesh, my temptations on me
till a shell of a man deaf and dumb
this hardened heart turns out to be
For all my problems when in view
are higher than grand mountain peaks
so quickly I lose sight of You
and cannot hear the words your Spirit speaks
I soon lose sight of my mission
Of my worth, of all I've sought to attain
To the mundane I give my submission
and trust there is no relief from this pain
But pain I have not felt like the cross
Wounds I have not endured as were there
As a father I have not suffered such loss
Nor made sacrifice born from such care
My body I have not surrendered
much less this heart I hold tight
For I am not ready to be battered
For sharing my precious light
So near to death my fire is found
For no air will I let see its glow
Rather I revel as my problems abound
And let them be all that I know
Oh let them pale in comparison
Father breathe on my dying coals
Receive back your faithless son
ignite a fire again in my soul
For oh just one look upon calvary
Would shrink these mountains I've made
Would soften a heart full of misery
Would the deafest soul persuade
That there is a God full of passion
Full of grace and mercy sweet
And no heart is forbade His compassion
If it be laid with humility at His feet

St. Patrick's day lilt

2008-03-17T11:56:00.003-05:00

It was on the fair banks of the lowland greens
When first I did see you as if in a dream
The hem of your dress it danced in the wind
and the song you were singing was gary owen

So come with the wind in your hair so enchanting
Come sweet and softly with your timid feet dancing
With a melody flowing like a stream from your tongue
For I have been captured by the dreams you have sung

And when in the winter I left in the snow
Your tender warmth lingered where're I did go
but now that it's springtime in Ireland again
My eyes they are a'straining for the banks of my Dublin

The Day of the Lord

2008-03-06T10:59:00.013-06:00

My heavy heart confesses today that I can only remember days when I was truly overjoyed with the expectation of the coming of the Lord. I feel that this is a struggle for many Christians and so I want to examine David's call to such a joy and hope in the 96th psalm.

I begin not with the means, but the Reason: Psalm 96:13 "(do all this) ...Before the Lord, for He is coming, for He is coming to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in His faithfulness." This is not a sorrowful or fearful ending to this psalm. As we will see, David is actually exultant in His expectation of the judgement of the Lord. He is overjoyed because the coming of the Lord and His judgement will be the ultimate expression of the glory of God. The righteous should have no fear of that day. Isaiah speaks precious encouragement to us in chapter 35 verse 4 when he states: "Say to those with anxious heart, 'Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The recompense of God will come, But He will save you.'"

To look forward with joy to the hope of the Lord's coming, our heart and mind must be attuned to the Will of God and David's counsel through this psalm seeks to engender in the reader a desire to join the psalmist in his expectation of the day of the Lord.

First in Song: Note that the first three lines begin with "sing." Beyond this though, to start the whole psalm, David suggests a new song. It is the psalmist's opinion that the first act one should make when seeking God's Will is the deepest personal expression of oneself. It is easy to sing the words and melodies of other hearts that have experienced God and still miss the personal connection that their authors birthed such compositions from. Instead, in our own feeble, faltering or sweet voices David urges us to create words from our minds and melodies from our hearts that express our immediate emotions honestly before the Lord. The songs that our tongues employ should, according to line three, not focus only on our own state but bless the name of the Lord. They should all, at the very least, end in praise.

Second by proclamation: David cannot help but break forth in doing the very thing he is exhorting us to do here and he makes his public declaration of faith two-fold. First, he describes the attributes of God -their beauty, their wonder and their distinctive nature, and Second, in verses 7 and 8 he attributes the causality of the blessings in his life and the world to God. The word ascribe (found in the NASB) is literally to write as the cause for. David tells us to take all the good things of our life and the world around us and proclaim that their inception lies in the heart of a Holy, Loving and Awesome Sovereign God. David makes it clear in verse 8 that inherent in this proclamation of God's glory is the offering brought into the temple of God. Only recently has the giving of money been reduced to a private affair. As often occurs in the church of God, heresy enters through the over-application of a truth of the word. I believe scripturally, the amount of the offering is between a man and God, but the demonstration of an offering is a public act of sacrifice that is meant to exhort the body. (this assumes the church is for believers, which is also scriptural)

Third through response: David's response, through humility, to singing praise to the Lord and proclaiming His name is found in verse 9. He worships with all his heart longing for holiness, he trembles before God when He grasps a glimpse of the expansive glory and majesty of God. He is moved to proclaim even more the Lord's sovereignty and his eyes are opened to the praises of creation and its longing for the day of the Lord. He joins all of God's works in proclaiming that "...He is coming..."

I want my heart to ever have the expectancy of the day of the Lord underpinning its desires, and filling me with hope, joy and peace that the salvation of the Lord has come and soon the Bridegroom will burst forth from His chambers to meet his bride at the altar as she reaches the far side of the Jordan's aisle.

Freedom Indeed

2008-02-26T10:51:00.010-06:00

Oh Christian hear, let thine heart not be hard
But set our Saviour Jesus as its watchman and guard
Be not timid nor idle in thy daily prayer
For untwined from faith no fruit will it bear
Take up thy cross, be famished for the Word's bread
Let the blood be thy wine making old passions dead
For little time spent in the word of the Lord
Will soon and certain dull thy sword
And soon will follow a breech for sin
giving way to remorse and depression within
And so sink ye into a pit so deep
That for the sweet saviour's light ye will mourn and weep
Oh should ye be sorrowful but never dispair
There be no place where thy feet wander, but that the saviour is there
And thy feet, save for Him, finding no solid place
Would fall fast into darkness and leave ye on thy face
And Christian is it not there that ye should ere be found
Let not sin and suffering be thine only beckoning to solid ground
So plant not thy feet but thy knees on this Rock
Dare not to proclaim ye were worthy of the knock
That first was heard on thy soul's threshold
That glorious day when ye opened to behold
The father long estranged with arms open wide
saying sinner receive forgiveness let Me enter and abide
And were ye not then on thy face or thy knees
With so great an awe at the power of Him who frees
From so great a debt now paid forevermore
Did ye not weep in His presence and long for Him more
Has thy debt been reduced that was once paid
That ye no longer are grateful for the cross and the grave
Oh Christian let thine heart be bowed down again
and worship at His feet as when He first entered in
And sharpen thy sword by his words so sweet
Rise not by thine own strength but by His to your feet
And go to the world from whence ye are now free
To release the captives and proclaim freedom indeed

A valentine

2008-02-14T15:41:00.002-06:00

What savory sentances I seem to speak
When seeking safety and solace sweet
When seeking softly the someone I seek
Such a someone I'm so seldom sad to meet

For my Wife

2008-01-29T12:35:00.000-06:00

How safe my heart is held
Whether far or near my skin
For the vessel in which it melts
Is your love, your sweet devotion
Your illuminating stream of wisdom
Pouring from lips of pure gold
Chastening me perfectly seldom
My jagged edges gently to mold
Let me not refuse your instruction
Let my ears not burn at the sound
For your love is your inspiration
And by it I am not beaten, but crowned
So let my adorned head be held level
Neither lowered in prostrate shame
Nor exalted to proudly revel
Only level to whisper your name
Only less than to bow in prayer
In praise for the blessing of you
To humbly proclaim our Father’s care
And grace that can carry us through
To the side where we will radiate
With love perfected, sublime
Where our lips will cry out for a new song to create
A duet to our Lord for all time

Who I Am

2008-01-23T16:38:00.001-06:00

Take this world from me
These painful memories
The days I can't see
through the clouds of grief
take these weary hands
do through them what I can't
Make me understand
just who I am

I am a child of the king
The bride of Christ and so I sing
Praises to the one who gave me breath
Till I sing no more lay down and sleep
Beside the one who fills all my needs
and I will glorify you Lord in life or death

Take this broken life
all these tears I cry
every time I ask why
every time life passes me by
Sing to me of grace
of love that I can taste
of seeing Your face
Till I find my place

Mission

2008-01-22T15:41:00.001-06:00

Oh wretched man
That I have been and am
Had it not for Your hand
And Calvary’s sacred stand

The torrents assail
The thoughts like a gale
Striking harder than hail
And I soon fail

Sinking with my mind
Forsaking my Savior behind
Into the valleys I wind
And will my eyes blind

But Your will is higher
Even than my deepest desire
And I find You never tire
Until I humbly inquire

If You still love me
If I can beg You to be free
If I can be but a servant and see
The day of Your glory

But where sin abounds
Grace’s triumph resounds
With peace thundering the ground
In a quiet whisper You announce

That I am still a child
Your son though weak and wild
Though wandering and defiled
And I am beguiled

That You can capture
With reassurance enrapture
Raising my eyes to the rafters
Still promising ever after

God You are beyond description
I can but fall in submission
That Your dreams may reach fruition
Here I am, give me my mission

Shortsighted

2008-01-22T15:39:00.001-06:00

I’m so shortsighted and I try to hide it
But it’s too late, it’s too late
Your love compels me, to let the world see
But I wait, I hesitate

(bridge)
Cause it’s not worth it yet I just can’t seem to let
Go of all these things that I dream of
You’re not my all, You’re not the cross I carry
And I don’t want to speak of Your love

(chorus)
And maybe I can’t see the tears they’re crying
But in my heart I refuse to see they’re dying
They should be dining at the master’s table
But they can’t cause they are not able
Cause we’re too ashamed of the gospel
To speak

I hate confession, cause I love my obsessions
If I’m lost in pleasure, I can’t feel the pain
But Your pain Oh Lord, leads me to repentance
Let me count it loss, oh for Your gain

My Heart for a Small Group

2008-01-22T15:03:00.000-06:00

As I was reading When I Don't Desire God by Jown Piper, I felt that these attributes of a small group were laid on my heart.

1) Meetings are began and ended with prayer, not a single prayer, but communal prayer until God calls someone to close the prayer time

2) Worship through music either follows or is intermittent with prayer

3) Groups of two or three individuals break off to discuss past weeks accomplishments and needs

4) Groups having met the preceding week then meet and speak scripture that God has laid on their heart for other group members

5) A teacher then speaks from the Word a message God has given him

I believe that God desires His people to come together in true, heart-enraptured prayer and worship as often as is possible. The picture of the first church seems to suggest members meeting almost every night of the week. Acts 2:46 Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.

We must also allow the bittersweet cleansing of the Word of God to proceed from our mouths and to be received by our ears for exhortation, correction and encouragement. This is why I believe that it is so necessary for believers to share what God is doing and to allow God to speak through, and to them, by His Word. 2Ti 3:16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;

This is what I long for in a small group. It is not impossible to pull off an inspiring small group using prewritten outlines and guided teaching, but how much more awesome and refining for the whole of the small groups' activities to be based off of the word and the direct interposing of God's voice through individuals for the use of ministry? Would it not be a higher calling for believers to pour through the word of God; searching for those few scriptures by which a brother might be saved, encouraged, exhorted or corrected instead of listening to a well-outlined and researched teaching method? Would it not lead to a greater maturity and accountability, knowing that another believer will benefit from your study and prayer for them throughout the week; and even more that they will have done the same for you?

Application-based Preaching and the loss of Spirit-led teaching

2008-01-18T14:52:00.000-06:00

In my oppinion many, if not most, pastors are moving in the direction of premade sermons that are rehearsed prior to Sunday morning and deviated from only for the occasional anecdote. Biblically I see no foundation for this method of teaching. Pastors of the first church were led by relevant issues, studied the word of God intensely and spoke directly from the word of God and the moving of His Spirit.

The greatest teaching I have heard, the most challenging and refining words, came not from a seasoned seminary graduate, but from a young man who prayed for hours before and after teaching. By teaching I mean illuminating the truth straight from The Word by whatever words the Lord layed upon His heart. Sometimes there were no words until we all bowed in prayer to seek the Lord.

I fear that pastors are no longer the champions of communing with God, knowing Him and His word, and instead are becoming competitors for who can make "dusty old church idioms" into "culturally relavent, specifically and immediatly life-applicable topics."

I believe that The Word of God is meant to be preached from the pulpit with accuracy, whereby it is then able to pierce men's hearts as at Pentecost. There then remains no one specific application for everyone who hears, but a longing to be led to an individual revelation by the Holy Spirit in every willing hearer's heart. This revelation will stir its own application within the timing and planning of the Heavenly Father.

Possibly Heretical Musings

2008-01-18T11:45:00.000-06:00

Job 40:8 "Will you really annul My judgment? Will you condemn Me that you may be justified?"

Is God held to the same standards that He holds men to? Psa 50:21 "These things you have done and I kept silence; You thought that I was just like you; I will reprove you and state the case in order before your eyes. "

Obviously in some cases the answer is no, such as in worship, but should the answer always be no?

In no way do I seek to discredit the Holiness of the Most High, but instead I wonder if our view of His Holiness is a distortion, a limitation. Do we judge God the same as we judge men? Is there always in the back of our mind the idea that "God would never do that because such an act is inherently 'evil'?"

Can we let go of our finite understanding of right and wrong as it applies to God to try to understand Him, and while doing so still be Biblically sound?

I want to propose a few predicates:

God is the Creator of all, in effect all things are His property. Psa 24:1 The earth is the LORD'S, and all it contains, The world, and those who dwell in it.

The owner of property has exclusive rights over his property.

God always acts to achieve the most perfect goal.

The most perfect goal is the most amount of glory being attributed to His name.

Based upon these predicates, I would like to begin a discussion of the actions of God and why we sometimes struggle especially with His old testament actions. Please post your comments along with mine. I wouldn't even mind if someone just said I was rambling and should delete this post.

Ultimately though, we must all come to a point in our lives that we proclaim as Balaam and Job did:

Num 23:19 "God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent; Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good? "

Job 42:1 Then Job answered the LORD and said, Job 42:2 "I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. Job 42:3 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?' "Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know." Job 42:4 'Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.' Job 42:5 "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You; Job 42:6 Therefore I retract, And I repent in dust and ashes."

(All references from http://www.blueletterbible.com/ -NASB version, emphasis added)

Evil: injurious or immoral?

2008-01-18T10:04:00.000-06:00

Jdg 2:15
Wherever they went, the hand of the LORD was against them for evil, as the LORD had spoken and as the LORD had sworn to them, so that they were severely distressed.

Culturally, when you say the word evil, the definition that our generation knows best is described by Webster as "adjective: morally wrong or bad; immoral; wicked: evil deeds; an evil life, or "noun: the force in nature that governs and gives rise to wickedness and sin." As with many words in the ambiguous grey scale of one-word, many-definitions found in English, this is not the only meaning the word has. The other definition found in the dictionary is that of an injurious, harmful event.
When reading Scripture, we must be familiar with the definitions of the words we see and not assume that there is only one way to look at a particular word or phrase.

(All references from http://www.blueletterbible.com/ -NASB version, emphasis added)

Tired feet, why not knees?

2008-01-17T15:18:00.000-06:00

Each day presents us with its own mountains. Today has been a day of unexpected climbing. My feet being physically tired reminds me of the journey my heart takes each day. If only I could live with the faith of a mustard seed, these unexpected climbs would be no more. If only I would quit starting the day on my feet and instead begin on my knees then I could simply say the name of Jesus to these mountains and they would be cast into the sea. But as of this moment, my feet are sadly more tired than my knees.

The way of the Master

2008-01-15T13:47:00.000-06:00

I have heard Christians claim in the past that God's Will always calls men to professions that are difficult, trying, and contrary to what they are good at or enjoy. While this may seem on the surface to be true, I believe that comments such as these are distortions of the truth, and not the heart of God that those who have experienced such a call are meant to see. To discuss this topic further, let us first consider the origin of humanities' desires and motivations and the effects that sin produces upon that origin.

The bible states that God has formed us in his own image. An image, understood as in a portrait, is a flat (let us say finite) creation meant to resemble the attributes of an object or person that has shape. (let us say infinite) It is my belief that the nature of God, being eternal, is limitless in its expansiveness and is therefore impossible to fit into one person. For this reason, I would suggest that each man receives but a portion of God's character that is central to his core desires and motivations. Along with this portion, God has also placed in every man an unquenchable desire for the rest of the attributes of God that are only alluded to in his own life. One has only to look around at the actions of the typical person to realize that, though terribly distorted by sin, the taste of the character of God in that person and their desire to know and experience the infinite attributes of God, are evident in the choices they make and the things they strive for.

To discuss the effects of sin on this portion of God's character that resides in each man, let us first examine sin using the following definition: any distortion of a creation of God. A distortion, by definition, has no substance of its own, no "self" to hold its shape; it is simply a misinterpretation of a real object by a real object. It is then safe to assume that God inherently, when He created man's free will, gave him the ability to distort His perfect creation and thereby sin. Mar 7:20 And He was saying, "That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man. Mar 7:21 "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, Mar 7:22 deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. Mar 7:23 "All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man." Notwithstanding the waterfall of arguments that might be incited by this assumption that sin does not exist aside from men's perception, let us continue on to consider its effects.

Adam and Eve were imbued with the attributes of God perhaps more than any two people that are recorded in biblical history. The Bible is not specific about the time that elapsed before the first sin occurred, but regardless, they walked with God fully in His presence learning from His mouth directly. This was possible because they were perfect and without sin. I am convinced that in their hearts was a holy desire for wisdom and for the power of God. Since they were perfect, this desire must have stemmed from a longing to bring God glory and worship by the filling of their lives with the things of Him and by becoming more like Him by this knowledge. When the serpent came to Eve and said Gen 3:4 "You surely will not die! Gen 3:5 "For God knows that in the day you eat from it (the tree) your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil," the serpent presented Eve with distortions of Holy desires already implanted in her from creation. The distortion came not in the idea of attaining wisdom or becoming like God, but in the reason for, and the means of, doing so. Eve was now introduced to a wholly selfish idea of attaining what were Holy desires by a means other than faith and trust in the Father God.

If we then apply this to our own lives as Christians, we see that there is one root of our desires -the nature of God and the longing to be like him, and two resultant attempts to attain satisfaction. The first, most "natural" and certainly the easiest in the short run, is that same selfish path passed down from the very first act of rebellion in the garden. It is the striving of our old man by its own strength to attain power and "god-likeness." It is inherently prideful in its boast that it can attain its own desires without the help of the Heavenly Father. This is earthly pleasure and when we claim that God calls us to do things that are hard and that we are not good at, it is this path that we are alluding to. It is in the opposite direction of this path that God beckons fervently. For this path's end is always destruction; it is always born of a distortion of the means by which we can attain satisfaction of our heart's Divine desires. The fact that God calls us away from this path does not mean that God is calling us away from what we enjoy or take pleasure in, only away from that which cannot truly satisfy us. Our deepest joy and pleasure comes from the satisfying of our deepest motivations; those same motivations that are born of the nature of God and can only truly be satiated by a pursuit of Him -the second path. This second path necessitates a surrender of our heart's distortions and a desperate cry to God by faith that He would let us see less dimly in the mirror by which we see His Kingdom.

We will never, in this present life, rid ourselves of the ability to distort God's perfect creation and the desires that He created us with. However, we must, above all, seek to keep our heart from turning mere distortions into delusions. A delusion is when one accepts a viewpoint that is false even when presented with undeniable evidence of the truth. For the Christian, whenever we are presented with the preposition of satisfying a Divine desire that requires faith and we choose instead to cower in fear, attempting to find an earthly way that does not require faith, we begin to form a delusion. Unfortunately, many of us go about our lives with countless delusions underlying our daily decisions. Delusions about protection, provision, careers, family, church and witnessing. A delusion is most certainly a stronghold of sin in our lives.

Eph 4:17 So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, Eph 4:18 being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; Eph 4:19 and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. Eph 4:20 But you did not learn Christ in this way, Eph 4:21 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, Eph 4:22 that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, Eph 4:23 and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, Eph 4:24 and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

(All references from http://www.blueletterbible.com/ -NASB version, emphasis added)

Most Recent Song

2008-01-15T12:56:00.000-06:00

Your eyes oh Lord are on every place
You see the evil and the good
And when I kneel humbled by Your face
Hear the cry of my heart by Your grace

(chorus)
Let my mind be a place where you dwell
Let my heart and my life be as well
May all I dream of, be inspired by Your love
Oh Jesus, fill me, with You

Your Love, oh Lord, is an endless fountain
Flowing forth from tears on Calvary
Your righteousness rises in me like a mountain
And your peace is a refuge from my sin

First Blog EVER!

2008-01-15T11:08:00.001-06:00

As a general rule, I've shyed away from blogs due to an overabundance of pressing matters. Now, however, I find the only pressing matter is: how do I spend my time waiting for centrifuges and FPLCs. Since I've come up with very few solutions, starting a blog to discuss relevant issues and post things I've written for others to enjoy or rail seems intriguing.